St. David's day

Being half welsh, Jay was keen to celebrate St. David's day with a welsh rarebit themed lunch. Having never been to Gregg's before in his whole life, he thought he'd wonder down on the offchance that they'd have a St. David's day special.

What he came back to the office with, wasn't exactly a St. David's day special, but you could see that some thought had definitely gone into it. Here's what was in Jay's St. David's day special:

1 cheese and onion pasty (closing thing to cheese on toast in Gregg's)
1 chicken and bacon pasty (no onion)
1 steak bake
1 packet of Walkers salt and vinegar crisps (standard)
1 lump of 'tickler' mature cheddar cheese (from Tesco - good gear according to Jay)
1 Onken biopot (to settle things down a bit)
1 can of diet coke (there was no full fat available in the office fridge)
1 large helping of sweet chilli sauce (rancid)

Good to see Jay taking his heritage so seriously. Made his country proud today. Especially in the second to last shot below, where we can see that tickler cheese / chilli sauce combo. Good effort.

CBO

It's Friday, and there's a new burger in town. The CBO.

Jay scuttles down to the local McDonald's to pay his good friend 'the clown' a visit to see how his new burger performs. To accompany the new CBO (chicken, bacon, onion), Jay selected a large Big Tasty meal with coke, and a cheeky little double cheeseburger. Jay was so excited by the launch of the CBO, that he forgot his regular pot of sweet chilli gold. An uncharacteristic mishap.

All it takes is a look at the last photo below to understand just how good the CBO was for Jay. The facial expression alone shows the deep understanding between Jay and the clown this afternoon. An understanding which I'm sure will stay around for many years to come. What a way to end the week. Wow.

Good preparation

Jay knows that you need to be both mentally and physically prepared if you're going to keep up such high levels of lunching.

Watch Jay as he limbers up for today's lunch with a pair of nunchucks. He was well in the zone, so we ensured that we respectfully kept a safe distance away whilst he prepared himself:

A belated Chinese New Year

2010 is the year of the Tiger. And after yesterday's minor setback, Jay's eye of the Tiger digestive system enables him to bounce right back. The theme of today is most definitely choice, as Jay minimises risk by opting for a range of different goods and cuisines, although there is a clear Chinese New Year, fishy undertone.

Jay's lunchtime outing saw him nip into the nearby Saino's to bag himself a meal deal consisiting of:

A roast beef and horseradish sandwich (brown bread)
A 500ml bottle of coke (full fat)
A packet of salt and vingear crisps (fast becoming a standard feature)
And a little Brucey bonus, in the form of a duck and hoisin wrap

In addition to this, his trip to Chinatown enabled him to scoop up:

A packet of prawn crackers (with a hint of wasabi)
A packet of dried squid (Jay's favourite fishy friend)
And a packet of 'Boy Bawang' chilli cheese puffed sweetcorn (1 of your 5 a day)

The final shot below shows just how happy Jay is feeling after the horror of yesterday. Proof that nothing can stop this guy. Well done Jay! We're back on track!

New heights

Jay ramped it up today. Good and proper. The pictures that follow this post include some of the most gut-wrenching images you'll ever see during a mid week lunch. Words cannot describe what follows.

Portland Plaice, Portland Street, Manchester was the choice. Check out the Holland's van parked just outside on Street View: http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?layer=c&cbll=53.477679,-2.239909&cbp=12,31.02,,2,0.44&ved=0CDcQ2wU&ei=d-mKS8XEKKG9jAf03IWKCg&ie=UTF8&ll=53.477679,-2.239909&spn=0,320.668945&z=5&panoid=fVXOwgEer6F6MURKT0XMmA

Jay went for the new Portland Plaice special, as suggested by one of his fellow collegues. The new 'special' consisted of:

1 portion of chips

1 serving of chilli-con-carne

1 serving of melted cheese

1 serving of vegetable pakora in curry sauce

1 portion of mushy peas (optional)

1 battered turkey kebab (optional, and unclassified)

It was the latter, unclassified turkey item which really tipped the boat. Even Jay was disgusted by it. The item was made up of grey 'turkey' cubes containing bits of unknown white fat/gelatine, and slices of white onion, skewered onto a wooden stick, then coated in the infamous Portland Plaice trademark artery clogging batter.

Jay tried his best to pretend it was decent grub, but to no avail. He was forced to pull out 3/4 of the way through stating "that turkey thing is fucking rancid, I'm not eating the rest of that". The left over container held the remaining contents... It looked like the food was perspiring. It really looked like a genuine health hazard.

Take a look at the last photo below, where you can see Jay taking some time out to reflect on what just happened to him. Our thoughts are all with you today Jay. Hang on in there matey, it'll be ok.

Jay's pot of gold

Back-to-back curries have taken their toll on our Jay. Especially given that he's "not supposed to eat curry" for medical reasons which cannot be disclosed. We can all be a little Hollywood sometimes, but it's time to settle the insides and get back to routine today.

At the end of every rainbow lays a pot of gold guarded by the mischievous mythical creature, known as the Leprechaun. Similarly, at the end of every lunchtime thought lays a pot of chilli sauce, guarded by a spotty teenage kid with braces, also known as a McDonald's member of staff.

Watch Jay as he tucks into his pot of gold, accompanied by 4 double cheeseburgers (that's 8 burgers folks)

Ruby murray

It was the mention of curry this morning that triggered today's tastebuds, and ensured that Jay followed on from last nights curry, going 'back-to-back' for another one today.

Having popped his plate of raw veg this morning, Jay was feeling spritely, and ready to rustle up something spesh. Time to zip back to the flat to don his pinny.

No expense spared today. A medium spicy tomato, onion, green and red pepper sauce with coconut. Luckily for Jay, it's 2010, where you don't have to be a cullinary whizz in order to whip up a dish like this any more.

A big shout out to the co-operative, and their 'healthy living jalfrezi cook in sauce':

Veggie double

A fresh start to the week for our Jay. He's kicking off Monday morning with a plate of raw mangetout and baby sweetcorn. Having never seen Jay anywhere near a vegetable in all my time of knowing him, I couldn't help but ask the question "Jay, when's the last time you ate vegetables?" He looked up to the sky in deep thought "Eeerm... last night in a curry actually".

Home is where the heart is

Lunchtime calling, but Jay needs to pop back to his flat today. Jay asks himself "Why not take advantage of the superior high quality ingredients in my humble abode, to craft my own lunch today?"

And craft he did. Take a look as Jay crafts, then chows down.

Jay's lunch consisits of:

- 4 slices of white bread (nothing less)

- A few mature cheddar door wedges

- Salami

- Mustard

- Picked onions

- Picked garlic (yes, you heard right)

- Two packets of Walkers salt and vinegar crisps (back to back)

- A carton of Morrisons apple and Mango juice (not from concentrate)

- And a lovely cuppa (drunk with his trademark teaspoon stood upright in the mug)

Eating in is the new eating out.

A meal for two...

It's Wednesday lunchtime, and as I glance over to Jay's desk in anticipation of his next cholesterol wrenching snack, I realise he's slipped out without me noticing...

A couple of desperate missed calls later, I find out that he'd snuck out for a Bella Italia with his mother. Displaying high levels of commitment to the blog, Jay took it upon himself to take a few snaps himself. Unfortunately we didn't get a picture of his mum, according to Jay "she's too hot" and he didn't want everyone to see.

Watch Jay tuck into his Spaghetti Gamberi, plus check out the authentic Italian restaurant pic at the end. "Hey, wise guy, quit bustin' ma balls"

Have it your way

Sticking with the American fast food theme this week, Jay opted for Burger King for lunch today. For any vulnerable viewers out there, please look away now, as this post does contains graphic images which may cause offence.

WARNING: Close up shots of the Angus burger plus Jay's deep fried onion rings to follow.

Watch Jay have it his way. Go ahead lad, tuck in... there's a good lad:

Breakfast combo

Jay settles down to breakfast this morning with an interesting combination of:

- Half a french stick, cut in two

- Mature Cheddar

- Gorgonzola Blue Cheese

- Strawberries

Fresh fruit, meets heart attack. A great way to kick start your day, and confuse your body. A little late for Valentine's day, but this definitely gets extra marks for how it's been so romantically presented:

Eat Fresh!

Had a quick word with Jay pre-lunch today, and apparantly "those potatoes didn't do fuck all".

Subway was the choice, so off he went... There was only one thing on his mind today... A fully loaded foot long Spicy Italian accompanied with a packet of salt and vinegar crisps. A quick visit to the newsagent next door also saw him sneak an additional packet of pickled onion monster munch into his infamous 'satchel of shame'.

A nice little trick from Jay today: Both sandwich halves with different sauces, one chilli, one mustard - giving the sensation of two different sandwiches.

Watch Jay's lunchtime journey today, as he carefully crafts his custom built sandwich, then packs in a layer of crisps, before finally settling down to the daily crossword.

Bless: